Happens to me all the time. And, funny enough, it's mostly women that do it, although sometimes it's a man. The best part about it is that I have really huge tits. So if I turn around they get pretty embarassed. But that's not my fucking problem! And they all act like I oughta somehow ... fix it for them. I get kinda sick of the whole thing. What do other people do?
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California
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Sun, December 17, 2006 - 1:50 PMThis happens to me a lot...I think mostly because I have short hair and I don't really carry myself in a feminine way.
I used to get pretty annoyed by it. But since I hit 30, I have less emotional energy for stuff like this and have to save it all for the more "important" stuff. Once people realize I'm a chick (which is pretty much immediately after they call me "sir"), they get really embarrassed about it and I think that's "punishment" enough. And I have the satisfaction of knowing that they will probably be more careful next time. And because I don't make a big thing out of it, my reaction doesn't cause them to get defensive or otherwise obscure the lesson they could derive from their mistake.
So that's the long answer. Here's the short answer: I don't make a big thing of it. But that's just me. -
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Mon, December 18, 2006 - 1:15 AMyeah, i like that - not making a big thing of it. But I still just get really annoyed that they seem to think it's up to me to make them feel better about it!! Like what the hell is that? THEY made the mistake, not me. I guess what really pisses me off is that I think they are so incredibly uncomfortable about it just becuase it;s a gender/women's issue, and that's stuff that gets talked about very little these days but that, as far as I can see, is a real touchstone issue in this country still. And it's like they're all bent out of shape becuase they're being pushed up against their gender/women issues and it's so not OK to talk about that stuff these days that they expect me to apologize or make nice or something .... Like bringing maggotty garbage out in front of everyone. it just isn't 'done'. Makes me just more aware of how incredibly fucked up we are about those issues - and how we continue to not deal with it in this country. oh, except, of course, for those of us for whom it isn't a choice. LIke we all get to be the token ones to deal with issues for everyone else or something. OK, done ranting. For now.
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Tue, December 19, 2006 - 8:20 PMI've been called sir regardless of how long my hair is or what I'm wearing or how far my tits were hanging out. One time a man called me sir and even after I turned towards him with chest out and full pouty lips AND I explained to him that I am not a sir, sir, but a woman, and he still called me sir.
I flipped him off.
A couple of times I've experienced the "It's YOUR fault for not looking feminine enough" attitude, but mostly I just look at people like they're stupid until they admit they were mistaken. Then I laugh in self-righteous womanliness. -
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Wed, December 20, 2006 - 9:08 PMLove that! "laugh in self-righteous womanliness"...;) -
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Thu, December 21, 2006 - 12:08 AMI can't say that I'd get angry about it...I mean, many, many people appear pretty androgenous, so if people make a mistake, I supposed that I'd cut them some slack. I might laugh, but I'd cut them slack ; ). Also, if I were ever called sir, I'd at least be happy that there were polite people out there who were *calling* me "sir", rather than "Hey!! You there!" It just seems more respectful, and that goes a long way with me. I'd take "sir" over "Yo!" any day, even if I am a girl : ).
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Thu, December 21, 2006 - 5:59 PMsmile and say thank you is what I do. Their embrassment when they realize I am a women is enough victory for me. -
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Sat, December 23, 2006 - 5:18 PMThis has been my answer as well. A lot of people just don't pay attention. -
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Sun, December 24, 2006 - 1:59 AMwow, good responses ... wish there were more women truckdrivers out here to give 'em.
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Unsu...
Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Thu, December 28, 2006 - 1:36 AMIt's funny to me now ... generally it happens when I am driving through a drive thru or on the telephone dealing with a customer service representative. I get a big kicked out of it when I go through the drive thru because when they see my face and I tell them I am a female they are so apologetic and I just eat it up... In a a way I feel that it makes them more cautious the next time and to not assume the voice fits the gender.
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Unsu...
Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Sat, January 6, 2007 - 8:19 AMi don't even GET why people call me sir.....i don't look masculine......i don't think i do, anyway?.....i usually say nothing, let them figure it out---
the funniest thing is watching women's responses when i'm coming out of a public restroom, and they're coming in.....cracks me up/.....they suddenly stop, and look at me...and then look around....like, "Oh no, Where AM I??"....they look at the door...and sheepishly go in the women's bathroom.....it's so funny
it's even WORSE in asia!---i've been to korea the last couple years....every time i turn around!....i go into a public bathroom, the women stop and they try to say something, but it's in korean, i have no clue what they're saying, but i finally figured out it's along the lines of "you'tr in the wrong bathroom"........and they suddenly put a large distance between me and them.....oh man, it's unnerving but i can't blame them---it's not like they mean harm---they just have never seen people like me---they're not used to it---same with here in the states----i mean most girls look and be a certain way, and that's what people are generally used to----it's just as embarrassing for them as it is for me-----i mean, even little cute kids who see the diff between men and women have asked me, "are you a boy or a girl?---i say, "well, what do you think i am?"---the girls will say "boy" and are really cute with me, which i like, and the boys will say "boy" and really really fun and playful with me,which i like---so i'm cool with it.--can't change it, may as well get used to people's various responses
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Unsu...
Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Mon, January 15, 2007 - 1:02 AMI wish I still did! When I was 18 to about 26 it was normal to have people refer to me in the male sense. Old men especially used to call me "son", and old ladies though I was a nice young man. I always enjoyed being mistaken as a guy, and found it quite useful at times to be "male". However, as I grew older my curves filled in and it became rarer and rarer, until now at 41 it never happens.
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Mon, January 15, 2007 - 2:27 AMhe looks me up and down
like he knows what time it is
like he's got my number
like he thinks it's his
he says,
call me, miss difranco,
if there's anything i can do
i say,
it's mr. difranco to you
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Fri, February 9, 2007 - 7:50 PMI thus far have only benefited from being mistaken as male.
-the biology professor gave me an A (she was cool and I earned it not like that tho).
-I didn't get a ticket in Reno, and got lots of apologies after he saw my id.
-And being a bit andro it is kind of a compliment i guess.
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Mon, February 12, 2007 - 6:32 AMWell, I have never been called 'sir' but one time at West Hollywood Pride, I got hit on by a man, then when I spoke and said I was a girl, he got all embarrassed and we both just laughed. I'm usually bald so get a lot of "mommy why does that girl look like a boy! Girls are supposed to have LONG hair!" Then I just get annoyed and say someing like " And parents are supposed to teach their children Manners." -
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Mon, February 19, 2007 - 5:37 PMI like that one. (I have taught mine manners).
I've been mistaken for a nice "young man"- can't seem to stop getting my hair cut.
But MOM, I would grow it long for you, but I have this condition! L e s b i a n i s m.
I LIKE my fukn hair short.
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Mon, February 4, 2008 - 9:27 AMI laughed my ass off when i read this... ("and parents are supposed to teach their children manners") - i agree 100%. i hate that "supposed to" shit. every human being is unique - how can there BE a "supposed to"? Good answer, Amber.
i would LOVE to be called sir from time to time (probably because it doesn't happen anymore)... there was a brief time in my baby-dykehood when i had a buzz cut and wore baggys, and being addressed as "sir" or "young man" always made me laugh to myself for hours. (kind of like a little private "gotcha!") there's nothing like a good laugh to brighten up your day, no matter the source. *smile*
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Mon, February 19, 2007 - 5:42 PMIf I'm in a mood I just say, "No I'm Papi." They walk away pretty quick after that.
Most of the time I just ignore them. -
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Mon, February 19, 2007 - 7:24 PMWell, when I was getting called 'sir' every other day, I just went ahead and changed my name to Mark. -
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Unsu...
Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Sun, June 3, 2007 - 4:55 PMi get "sir'd" a lot. i also get, "hey, man" or "what's up dude?" and many variations thereof. it used to stress me out, but when i started identifying more as genderqueer (at least to myself) i realized that i often do embody a more masculine than feminine identity. i realized that people aren't so much misreading me as male as reading me as more or less what i'm going for--male sometimes, female other times. becoming more comfortable with my own in-between-ness helped me feel less anxious when i'm read as "sir" or "miss" in situations where i don't particularly understand myself as either. but it is kind of funny when people suddenly realize i'm not quite what they thought i was and then struggle to correct themselves, without knowing really which way to go. i feel like having a strategic sense of humor about this issue is key to not letting it stress me out...which it can since it happens weekly if not daily.
i guess what i remain annoyed with is precisely the social imperative to address someone as "ma'am" or "sir" in the first place. is it really that necessary in every day interactions to gender the person you are addressing? such as "excuse me sir, do you want to order?" or "ma'am, you seem to be lost, can i help you?" or whatever. why does politeness, at least in dominant mainstream American culture, have to entail this kind of gendering? moreover, some of these kinds of address (sir, mrs, miss, ms) draw distinctions between married and unmarried women and never between married/unmarried men--that's annoying too. why do people have to identify you by your gender and marital status? -
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Fri, June 15, 2007 - 1:12 PMI was called "sir' on the ferry to SF last week. In spite of the tits, my voice, and my build in general, it's the short hair and the way I carry myself. In this case I just ignored the conductor and walked on.
But I agree, "the social imperative" is frustrating no matter what you're called. I am just as insulted to be called "lady" as I am "sir."
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Sat, June 16, 2007 - 6:02 AMTry living in the South. lol Then you get called Ma'am all the time when you aren't being called Sir.
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Sun, June 24, 2007 - 9:15 AMi enjoy being mistaken...except when it scares straight women...like in the bathroom or when they realize what their kids already got...that i am not exactly boy, not exactly girl in presentation and energy. A seven year old that i've known since he was born looked at the 6 of us around the table me, my SO femme, his grandma, grandpa and his sister - announced that their were 3 boys and 3 girls at the table.
i find that asian women in particular mis-read and call me sir - more than other groups of people
but yes, I mostly enjoy it as i am very sure of myself, i like making people think and expand their awareness - when they realize or are corrected, and when it happens it really reinforces for me my sense of self. Thanks for the question.
As far as folks being embarassed...i think that they are okay once they realize that i am truly not offended...i kind of feel like an ambassador to another world at that point. its cool. i let them off the hook, they are more relaxed and friendly in an attempt to make good with me. -
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Thu, June 28, 2007 - 1:00 AMi just got called sir...so much fun, i just went with it, can i help you sir? yeah, i will have...good times!!! must be the new shirt :P -
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Mon, July 9, 2007 - 8:36 PMI teach elementary school and the kids call me Mr. Games. Not my name but close enough. I like it.
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Sun, July 22, 2007 - 6:25 PMThis happens to me too. I work in a Mall and almost everytime I go into the bathroom people look at me crazy. I have had small children ask their Mother why is this man in the girls bathroom and the parent doesn't even correct them. I use to get really upset but now I just kinda blow it and laugh. I am small breasted and have short hair but still have fem looks about me but am still called sir or I hear look at that boy.
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Sun, July 22, 2007 - 7:03 PMFriend of mine who visited Israel kept being addressed as male, even though she's really, really built like a woman. In spite of her short hair, there's nothing about her that looks like a guy (to my eyes), and she rarely gets sir'd in this country. My friend kind of enjoyed the experience. She thought it was the clothes she wore -- there, the men she interacted with dressed a lot like she does (jeans/trousers and odd t-shirts); the women were all super femmey, even with a rifle slung over their shoulder. Which is hot in its own way, of course.
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Wed, September 12, 2007 - 8:47 AMI have gotten called sir for so many years, It use to be an issue. It is easier for me with me i am a gender fuck I don't consider myself a man just is easier. My friends find it humrous and laugh when ordering food. I also use the mens bathroom for years now I don't even get a second look. The last time I was in a women's bathroom a women freaked out and started saying this is a women 's bathroom and started to hit me that is when i started going to Mens bathroom. The lines are shorter LOL If anyone has gone through this please write about your experiance. -
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Tue, September 25, 2007 - 4:14 AMPersonally I have fun with how people choose to read me. I am never really offended..well, I take that back. Ma'am kinda leaves me a little naseous. I am not sure why we as a society need to gender anyone when they buy groceries or pay a freakin bill, but whatever it is on them.
I get read as male by both women and men..Recently in the gayborhood I was walking with my lover (Also Butch) and we were cruised by some hot gay boys..We just laughed. It was fun. But I like the mind fuck, I like people having to think. If I didn't I suppose I would be upset by people reading me wrong, but I also think I accept that is what comes along with my decision in my life to walk my truth and move through this world as a butch woman. What does bother me is people's ignorance and times when they sling the "are you a boy or a girl?" as an attack, makes me want to say..I dunno what are you? Human or alien.. Just sayin
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Fri, December 28, 2007 - 12:58 AMdepends on who's calling me Sir and what the context is.
imean i have different reactions to differerent people calling me Sir. Hot women call me Sir and I smile and get wet or hard or somethin. Um that would inlude all spectrums of hot women. Some hot men call me Sir even though they know I'm a woman and they get smiles too but no flirting.
Regular poeple still get a smile but a correction cuz they don't get it and should. Funny thing is "regular people" always get it as soon as I turn around - but they still get a correction.
:) -
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Re: so, what do YOU do when you get called "sir"?
Wed, January 30, 2008 - 11:09 PMHOT.
thank you for responding on behalf of the old school butch-femme crowd, darlin ;)
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